Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Cats rule and dogs drool




You might remember me, I'm Toby the Tabby. Today I'm blogging about our dog, Aggie. Spring is coming and with spring comes terrible thunderstorms. Thunder and gunshots are the two things that make Aggie go insane. When she goes nuts, she changes into a creature of super strength and no brains. The Woman is already getting worried wondering what crazy thing Aggie might do when the first big storm hits.

In my opinion, Aggie is usually a very dull dog. She won't play with cats, she's such a sissy. One little claw prick and you'd think we stabbed her with a sword. We can't even sleep on top of her because when we stretch and stick our claws into her she jumps up and runs. But to give her credit, she never eats our food. The Woman says 'no' and she won't touch it. Pretty silly dog, huh? I'd eat her food if she didn't inhale it in three seconds flat. Aggie never gets on the furniture, never chews things, and she comes like a streak when the Woman calls her. In fact she has lots of silly tricks she does for the Woman. All symptoms of the brainwashed obedience of dogs. Dogs are so needy they will do anything for a pat on the head. When the Woman tells us cats 'no' we pretend we don't understand.



When the storms come and the Woman is home, Aggie slinks around after her in a most cowardly manner but she does maintain some self control. On the other hand, when the Woman is gone Aggie changes from a dull dog to a demon creature. She jumps through windows, she broke through a screen door. One time during her storm-insanity she knocked over a TV trying to get under the table. She actually gnawed/dug her way through a chain link fence (not under but through). People don't believe that until we show them the hole she made by spreading the links of the fence--like the jaws-of-life. The Woman had to replace the weather stripping on the garage door because crazy dog ripped it off trying to dig between the door and the cement drive. The Woman is sure the idiot dog will jump out of the second floor window sooner or later. Personally, I don't think a fifteen foot fall would hurt her. She goes through glass with never a cut so why would a little dropoff do her any harm?

The Woman finally found a big cage with bars that Aggie cannot bend. Poor, silly dog will be spending her days in the cage. I heard the Woman telling her there will be no jumping through windows anymore. We cats cannot understand why sounds change our usually dull dog into a Tasmanian Devil determined to do herself harm. Guess it all comes down to the superior intelligence of cats.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Meanwhile, I've been busy conducting scientific studies. I'm trying to find the purpose for all the stuff the Woman has laying around the house. Taking things apart is the best way to figure them out.



The Woman doesn't understand my scientific interest. She has lots of stuff but she isn't interested in learning what things are made of. I can't believe she has a leather purse and shoes she's never even tasted. She is only somewhat smarter than the dog. So far I've determined that these two things are not edible.

56 comments:

tina said...

Bad ole Toby yet poor ole Aggie! Those storms are terrifying to dogs and humans alike sometimes. I have to say bad ole kitty because Toby has no excuse. This is reminding me of my dogs and one cat. The cat got into a cat fight and had two bad puncture wounds. I have to give her antibiotics which she does not like. She scratches the heck out of me. But those dogs of mine would fall on their swords before they hurt me in any way. What is it with cats and dogs? That's why Toby is bad and Aggie is to be loved and pitied. They can't help it. Scary though that she jumped thru a window!! Maybe Toby is bored? Need to go for a walk perhaps. Spring is in the air...

Monica the Garden Faerie said...

Hi Toby, we are both thankful we don't live with a dog. Our mom (to James)/Hoomin (to Fiona) seems to like some dogs and we're fine with that as long as she doesn't bring any home! We aren't big biters, but we do like going outside to sleep. James is scared of thunderstorms, but he just quietly hides under the couch. I don't, because there's only one thing smarter than a male cat and that's a female cat! ~Fiona (with James)

Jan said...

Dear Toby, you and I would get along famously-and the TWO of us tormenting Aggie and James, (my Poodle brother), would really be a blast! He listens to the Woman here, too...what's his problem? You and I could have a lot of fun eating plants and ripping apart seed packages!

Jan said...

P.S. I didn't sign off. I'm Smokie, the fat cat and homeowner.

Naturegirl said...

Poor Aggie such phobias! He is a handsome dude..Doggie therapy needed!That's incredible that he went through that fence!!!
Tobie naturegirls felines here making this comment..
we ((freak out)) when the door bell rings or when the fire alarm is set off We hide in the darkest corner of the closet all day!
Great post!Love it when pets are posted =^.^= purr-Zzz

Nan and =^..^= said...

What a great post! Hmmm, Aggie reminds me so much of Bruno...he was one of my sister's dogs (now she has Tiger). Bruno had separation anxiety to the extreme. They could never ever leave him alone for he did very similar things of super power strength and it was not just thunderstorms. He was a gentle giant as long as someone was with him and is very much missed. He bent metal, tore venentian blinds, would go through a window if he had the chance.
I hope the crate is comforting for Aggie.
Toby's scientific experiments are very interesting! Our cat,Ellie May loves to rip paper, she's sort of creating art in my studio which is fine as long as it isn't my paper with artwork on it! Brody's obsession is eating plastic....

Roses and Lilacs said...

Hi Tina, how would you like a border collie? I'll even pay for her airplane ticket:)

After shilling out literally thousands of dollars to repair the damages Aggie has done I can't muster much sympathy for her episodes of insanity. I had to have two car doors repainted because Aggie thought the car might be a good place to get into in a storm. A the wrecked TV, a lovely 6 panel antique door, an antique lamp, two kennels at $200 each, a window, a screen door, and on and on. I've never seen anything like it.
Marnie

Roses and Lilacs said...

James and Fiona, I can see your Mom has good taste and shows you the proper respect. Nothing wrong with quietly hiding under the couch;)

Hi Smokie, we could have some fun times. If you know of a place with no thunder let Aggie know. She'd go there in a heartbeat.

Hey NatureGirl cats, you're very smart. You never know what cat-eating fiend might ring your doorbell.

Toby the Tabby

Roses and Lilacs said...

Hey Nan, I guess Toby may be creating toilet paper art;) Do you think there is a market for it? I can envision a gallery with soft, squishy globs of white paper everywhere. It sounds kind of cool.
Marnie

sweetbay said...

It is a scary thing when big dogs are afraid of storms. Have you tried medication?

Balisha said...

Hi,
A friend has a dog who did jump out of a two story window. The storm hit before they could get home and when entering the yard the dog was in the back. The screen on the upstairs window had a hole in it. This dog does many of the things that your dog does. Your animals are beautiful.

tina said...

Ah, let me think it over-NOPE! Border collies are notoriously high strung. It is a shame. She's lucky you are her mom!

Roses and Lilacs said...

Hi SweetBay, I've tried medication. The vet said one tablet 30-minutes before a storm. Nothing. Then we tried 2-tablets. Nothing. Then 3-tablets. Nothing. But after the storm blew out she was out of it for a long time;)

Hi Balisha, was the dog OK? Gosh that is scary.

Hey Tina, BC's are wrapped a little tightly;) But they're supposed to be smart. Great big NOT on the smart. And yes she is lucky. Not many people would put up with that behavior for 10+ years.
Marnie

Marnie

Kathleen said...

Oh, poor Aggie. I totally understand ~ my little Butter is the exact same way. It's the worst part of the year for him (thunderstorm season). He shakes like a leaf and of course the cat doesn't pay any attention. Funny how it affects them so differently, isn't it? Great pictures of your "babies" Marnie. Hopefully Aggie will feel security from being in the crate and you won't have so much damage to repair.

Roses and Lilacs said...

Hi Kathleen, it must be awful to be that afraid. Difficult to imagine why this terror just overwhelms them.

A couple of my cats go under the bed but they don't run around in mindless panic.

Marnie

sweetbay said...

Marnie I figured you'd already tried medication but I thought I'd ask anyway. Medication didn't help with my JRT's separation anxiety either. It's a tough problem.

A Wild Thing said...

Toby, you are a wise old soul, but don't Aggy's sad eyes, just melt your heart...oh yeah, I forgot...cats aren't made that way...

I too had an Irish Setter that would chew her way through chain link at the sound of gunshots. It ended up being her demise, as 'BooBoo' ran into the path of a truck in the panic...BUMMER, she was my mountain pal when we lived in Colorado, running free, never in a cage or tied up, it was a new, scary world back in Iowa during duck season(we lived near the river).

She is missed, but I feel your frustration...good luck this summer!

sharon

Kerri said...

My goodness, poor Aggie really has a phobia about storms! But she sounds like a sweetheart apart from that one problem. I hope the cage helps calm her.
We had a toilet paper roll that looked just like that a couple of weeks ago :)
Some kitty cats have such a superiority complex, don't they? ;)
I hope you explained that clawing open a toilet paper roll is not the smartest thing to do :)
Love those faces :)
Happy Easter Marnie!

D'Rimba said...

My dear friend, I love nature too. Don't forget to visit my blog. you and all of your friends are invited. I really appreciate your support. Thanks...

The Birdlady said...

What fun that was! And Aggie is beautiful. Toby? .....well, he's a cat.

Susie said...

Oh how funny! Toby is so cute but so is Aggie. Your home is never dull is it?

Zach said...

How funny, what a wonderful perspective on the thoughts and life of a cat. I don't know why you haven't tasted you leather purse and shoes either. Thanks for the good wishes on the farm!

Lisa at Greenbow said...

Oh Toby, you must give the poor Aggie some slack. She after all doesn't try to eat you or your food. You would probably die laughing at Luna too. When a storm occurs here she too hides or sticks to her Mom for protection. She doesn't mind a gentle rain. We can tell if there is a possiblity of thunderstorms or bad weather by her reaction. She is more accurate than a weather radio and gives us the info way before the weather channel. She does drool though. I even think it is disgusting.

Mary said...

Very funny commenting by the kitty :-) So true. Poor Aggie...living with such a smarty cat. Your house must be "alive" all the time with these two!

BeadedTail said...

Poor Aggie. I can't even imagine the terror she must feel during a storm. Hopefully the new cage works.

It was fun hearing from Toby today though! Cats are so smart and he is a prime example of that!

Anonymous said...

That was wonderful. Poor dog and poor you. The cat does rule. My dog use to go nuts in a storm too.

Roses and Lilacs said...

Hey Sharon, that's sad about your setter. They can hurt or kill themselves running around in a blind panic.

Hi Kerri, I have to wonder what it is about toilet paper that makes cats want to rip it up;)

D'Rimba, thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

Hi BirdLady, yes Toby is kind of assertive and Aggie is kind of pitiful;)

Marnie

Rose said...

Good morning, Toby. I am pleased to make your acquaintance; how interesting that two such like-minded creatures share the same name--my name is also Toby:) I understand what you are going through--I live with two dogs who are equally foolish and lacking in our superior intelligence. However, they DO eat my food. I've had to resort to eating my meals on the kitchen counter so that I can eat in peace.

There used to be a big dog named Roco who lived here who was also afraid of storms. He was truly a gentle giant, and I enjoyed him--much less annoying than the two mischievous dogs here now. But in a storm he would whine and run around the house. I once read an article that it is the electricity in the air that bothers dogs, and that rubbing them with fabric softener sheets to eliminate the static might help. You might suggest that to the Woman.

Very interesting scientific experiments; I wish you success in your research. I am studying mathematics myself, particularly the volume of various objects, such as bags and boxes. I'm also doing a sleep study, using myself as the subject.

Again, so nice to meet you. It's so difficult to meet other felines these days, I hope you'll be writing again soon.

Yours,

Toby at the Prairie, Esq.

Roses and Lilacs said...

Hi Susie, these problems don't happen very often.

Hi Zach, Toby the official taster will probably taste my shoes and purse eventually;) I'll leave the scientific studies to him.

Lisa, Aggie is good at forecasting storms too. Perhaps our TV weather forecasters should get a weather dog. They (the weathermen) aren't right very often.

Hi Mary, the cats and dogs are usually pretty quiet. Every now and then one of them will do something outrageous.

Marnie

Roses and Lilacs said...

Hi BeadedTail, there seem to be an awful lot of dogs that suffer from this storm anxiety. Most just crawl under the bed like my old Doberman used to. The ones that go crazy will eventually hurt themselves unless something serious prevents it.

FlowerGardenGirl, hard to understand why usually timid cats aren't frightened but bold, intelligent dogs are terrified.
Marnie

Roses and Lilacs said...

A big meow to Toby at the Prairie. Having two dogs that eat your food is horrible. Dogs are so greedy. If dogs only knew how foolish they look gobbling food like a barnyard hog. You never see cats behaving with such lack of dignity.

Our dog Aggie has a few good qualities. She barks when coyotes, or strange people come too close to the house. Just between us, she's all bluff but the intruders don't know that. A watch dog is a good thing but only if it knows it's place is to serve and protect cats.

Toby the Tabby

Beth said...

Marnie - your post reminded me of one scene in Marley and Me. Have you seen it or read the book? It's a must read for a dog lover.
Our mini Schnauzer hates whistles. It will send her straight under a bed. Seems like every dog has their own hang-ups (just like humans I guess!)

joey said...

Loved this post ... it made my morning! Coffee & a good chuckle to start the day ~ as good as it gets! Happy Easter, talented Marnie!

Gail said...

A wonderful read...I always knew cats were smart. I am just glad they haven't evolved to have opposable thumbs...We will be in big trouble when they do. Happiest of Easter weekends Marnie!

gail

Roses and Lilacs said...

Beth, I haven't seen Marley and Me. Need to rent it. As long as it isn't sad. I hated dog stories with sad endings.

Hi Joey, Happy Easter to you too. Glad it made you smile. I have to concentrate on keeping my sense of humor. Sometimes it's harder when you're closest to the situation;)

Marnie

Anonymous said...
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Dog_geek said...

Poor Aggie - thunderstorm phobia is such a hard thing to deal with. I hope that thunderstorm season won't be too bad this year, and that the new crate keeps Aggie from doing damage to your house and herself!

Ginger said...

Ha - This so funny and well-written! I love the pictures of the kitty's scorning face. We have a "mixed" household, too - the cats and dog are definitely not friends, but they co-exist pretty well!
Great blog!

walk2write said...

Toby, Peanut speaking here. We managed to get rid of the granddog when the son moved into his own home. Good riddance! Absolutely no manners. Now that winter is over, I've devised a way to get my owners fit this spring (they need all the help they can get). Every hour or so throughout the day and evening (after I've had enough napping, of course!), I run to the front door and demand to be let out. Then after a decent interval, I scratch the door frame to let them know I'm ready to come back inside for another bite or two of food and another brief nap. The old cat isn't as good at this game as I am. But she sure gets a reaction when another hairball starts to make its way to the surface. Gotta hand it to the old furball. She knows how to make those humans leap into action. Thanks for sharing some ideas, Toby!

Iowa Victory Gardener said...

Marnie,
What a wonderful, insightful and whimsical post! I truly feel for poor Aggie with her fear of storms ... too bad you had to resort to a crate when you're not there, but you can't keep replacing windows, doors and stuff! I read an article a while back about creating a "safe room" for dogs with such fears ... basically a comfy place you can leave them in when they're alone. I don't know if that would work for Aggie, but if I can find the link again, I'll pass it along.

That Toby is quite the researcher! Hanna had to research the toilet paper one day, but now she can't get to it (other than the roll on the wall, which she leaves alone). Maybe Toby thought the Park Seed catalogue had such yummy looking flowers she needed to try some? :-)

100 Thoughts of Love said...

My dog betty used to do stuff like that...she brokee down several doors and tore through several screens for whatever reason was in here head. I think she just always wanted to run free :) I still miss her!

Unknown said...

Fantastic post Marnie, you wrote it so well - thought about writing books? ;-) That's too bad about Aggie. I can imagine how hard it is for a dog not knowing what's going on or if they'll be hurt or not. Heck I know I probably won't be hurt and I get scared.

troutbirder said...

:) Very well done. My first hunting dog Max was exactly like Aggie. Gunshots didn't bother this mightly hunter at all. The first hint of a thunderstorm and he fell to pieces destroying everthing in sight whether trying to get in or out of something. This, of course, was in the days before pills and dog psychiatrists

beckie said...

Toby, while I understand your interest in the scientific experiments-do be careful. eating and tasting things other than your food could be dangerous to your health. As for Aggie, she is a loyal companion to the Woman and must be pitied for her fear. You could try to talk her through it. I wonder if some of those new doggie chill pills would help her?

marmee said...

very cute story. our do maggie is deathly afraid of lightning storms and the flash of the camera. both seem frequent around here. i usually put her in a room with no windows when storms are here.

Roses and Lilacs said...

Hi DogGeek, I know. Hopefully she can't get out of this crate. Fingers crossed.

Hi Ginger, thank your for leaving me a message. The cats used to love my rough collie but this border collie is too high strung.

Hi IVG, I don't have a room without a window or a room with a door I want to sacrifice;)

Hi Pat, even if we disregard the damage, they are bound to kill themselves eventually.

RainGardener, the poor creature must think the end of the world is coming.

Troutbirder, with so many dogs suffering from this fear you'd think someone would have come up with a solution.

Hi Marmee, I really hope this new cage works. I can't stop the fear but hopefully I can stop Aggie from killing herself.

Marnie

Roses and Lilacs said...

Hey there Peanut. Don't know about you but I hate doors. The woman is always closing doors and I really, really need to know what's on the other side. The woman's old cats are like that. Those cats are so old, she actually got them little stairs so they could get onto the bed.

Beckie, nobody can reason with a Border Collie. Aggie thinks she knows it all. And stubborn... All we cats can do is just get out of her way or she'll run us down in the panic.

Toby the Tabby

Nan and =^..^= said...

Hi Marnie, it's me again...
I was at my sisters' family dinner last night and the topic turned to pets and my niece was describing how puzzled they had been as to how one of their dogs, Gus, has been escaping from his crate. They decided to leave a video camera on when they went to work. Fascinating...right after my niece left her home and started the car and drove off, Gus went to work.
He worked away at pounding on the bottom latch until he got it opened and though it was still attached with another latch he managed to squeeze his head through...hard work for it wasn't opened very much...he would rest and try to push through a little more, rest and try again...somehow he shrunk his body enough to get out altogether. Then he went right over to the camera and looked in at it.
I told them all about your post about Aggie and thunder and Toby and my sister and my niece read it and really enjoyed it.
Gus looks a little like Aggie.

Northern Shade said...

The cat vs dog feud had me laughing. I have sympathies for both of the combatants, although Aggie seems to have worked the hardest on encouraging your sympathy in her picture.

Roses and Lilacs said...

Hi Nan, that sounds so dangerous. I had a friend whose dog was killed doing something similar to Gus. The dog had squeezed thru a gate before. One day he pushed his head thru and somehow couldn't get the rest of his body all the way thru. He couldn't pull his head back. He began to struggle and broke his neck. My friend Pam's young horse did the same thing. These animals scare me when they stuff like this.

Hi Nothern Shade, Aggie does have looking pitiful down to an artform.

Marnie

Nan and =^..^= said...

Hi Marnie,
I felt the same way about Gus, that he could get stuck and how dangerous it was. My niece and her husband had come to the same conclusion when they realized what he was doing on the video so now he stays at home without the cage.

Roses and Lilacs said...

Hi again Nan, these clever dogs can be a serious problem. Sometimes you just can't imagine what they might try next. We can only hope they don't do something terribly dangerous.
Marnie

Anonymous said...

LOL..my cats get into everything and Elliott hides in the closet during a thunderstorm..but they aren't big enough to break through a window or anything....

abb said...

I love that cat!

Unknown said...

my cat cloie loved to pull apart the rolls of toilet paper. It was always so funny until it was the last roll!

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